


Mistletoe

by StoryBel



Series: World Beyond Dreams [3]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Humor, Mistletoe, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, POV First Person, Swearing, lots of smooches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 20:24:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13038759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryBel/pseuds/StoryBel
Summary: It's Satinalia season at Skyhold and feeling sentimental (and a little drunk) Evie accidentally lets slip a little story about the long celebrated Christmas tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. Ideas, like gossip, spread fast in the secluded mountain castle and soon the Inquisition have fully embraced the Earth custom only with a bit more enthusiasm than is called for.Chaos follows as mistletoe is hung, kisses are shared, riots occur and people begin to catch glimpses of a figure in a red fur trimmed coat as strange things begin to happen within Skyhold.Evie has a lot of questions like: Why do burnt trees and pine needles keep appearing in her room? Who keeps nailing socks to Varrics fireplace? Why is Cullen walking about with his finger on his nose? Why did someone glue sticks to her horses head and why is there a swarm of bees loose in the tavern?!But most importantly why is it, when everyone else is so eager to lock lips, that she can't seem to get one little peck of the man she loves?A bit of silly fluffy Christmas fun set in the World Beyond Dreams universe that does not require any prior reading of my other stories. Stand alone piece.Merry Christmas EveryoneI hope you enjoy.





	Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone.  
> I was feeling in the festive mood and needed a break from my main story... then this happened.  
> It's not cannon, so just like my other one shot it wont spoil anything from the World Beyond Dreams series but others can read it without feeling lost. Hopefully. Its just a bit of silly fun but I hope you all enjoy it anyway.

 

 

It all started, innocently enough, with a few drinks at the Heralds Rest on a Sunday night.

Having returned from Crestwood a few days ago I had been kept relatively busy following up on the information we'd received from Hawkes' Warden contact. With plans already in motion for a trip to the Western Approach in the very near future I had little time to relax in the large mountain Castle I called home before we would yet again be travelling out into the wilds of Thedas.

Scouting the lands. Killing demons. Closing Rifts. Defeating Venatori, Uncovering evil plots. Chasing down missing Druffalo. Running away from Dragons. Saving the innocent. Getting hideously sunburnt and likely ruining yet enough pair of boots. You know, all that heroic stuff normally found in a Tolkien novel _._

_My feet were already aching at the thought._

Yet even with my schedule full with organizing yet another journey on top of all my other responsibilities I could always find a few hours between my training and duties to enjoy the company of some of my most favourite people in the warm inviting tavern. Being fairly late in the evening the Heralds rest was still rather full, with soldiers, merchants, contractors and even the odd Ferelden Noble all enjoying the ambiance provided through Cabots mostly tolerable drinks, comforting stick to your ribs food and Marydens... interesting verses.

Personally, I liked the Heralds Rest. It certainly wasn't the classiest place in Thedas but it was comfortable. Warm and smelling pleasantly of wood fires, smoked meats and spilt ale The Rest was always full of the dull chatter of content people unwinding after a long day working together for the united cause of the Inquisition. Among the chaos and strangeness of living among an ever growing military organization the pub was a well needed place of normality away from orders, drills, war preparations and negotiations. It was good for the men and women of the Inquisition to have a place of respite away from the current fight against Corypheus. And I'd been told my presence there every now and then was good for moral. Not that I really agreed with that notion, or the fact that it had basically been named after me, but any excuse to spend time with my friends that did not require us to be fighting for our lives was a good one.

_Besides if I had to sign off on another requisitions order I was going to set my desk on fire and push it off my balcony_.

Like usual my small party of cohorts had claimed the back corner table. It was big enough to comfortably fit most of the inner circle (though it was exceedingly rare to have everyone join us) and was right next to the long banquet like table that The Chargers normally sat at, which meant Bull could divide his attention between the two groups with ease.

The big Qunari sat with his back to the wall, a good view of both the stairs to the next floor and the main door laid out before his one good eye. His posture was relaxed with one of his massive hands wrapped around an equally large flagon of ale and his other hand resting leisurely behind his head. To most he would seem completely at ease but I knew the Qunari spy was never truly relaxed. At even the slightest indication of danger he would be the first on his feet and swinging his great axe which was currently discretely propped up against the wall behind his chair. He wasn't the only armed man at the table too. Even safely tucked away within Skyholds walls my friends were rarely seen without their favourite weapons. Not after what happened at Haven.

Across the table from where I sat Blackwall was hunched over his hand of cards, face a little rosy with drink behind the cover of his thick bushy beard. The Wardens battered long sword hung over the back of his chair. Next to his drink a large complicated looking crossbow was casually placed on the table top. Its owner, Varric , was within easy reach and hiding a victorious smug grin behind his own likely winning hand. Sera sat atop the end of the table to the dwarfs left, cross legged with her tongue sticking out between her lips as she concentrated fiercely on her cards. I couldn't see her bow and quiver but I knew they were somewhere nearby, she'd used them to knock an apple off Grims head to win a bet not that long ago. The apple was still pinned to the door frame across the room. Then to my right sat Dorian, poised and refined as he disdainfully sipped his 'disappointing' Orlessian red. He'd neglected to bring his staff down but it wasn't really needed. Dorian, like most Mages, was a weapon unto himself, the staff was just a focus to make it easier to channel his magic.

And then there was me. Squeezed between the fearsome horned warrior and the dashing Tevinter Mage. Dwarfed in both size and sheer presence. Average in height and build and currently wearing the most plain and comfortable pants and tunic I could find that didn't look like I had slept in them or have food stains down the front. My wavy blond hair was pulled back into a loose braid and my freckled face was clean of any make up or war paint. And I had conveniently forgotten to bring my battle staff which was currently lying across my bed up in my quarters.

_Whoops._

My name is Evelyn Treval. Evie to my friend and Inquisitor Treval to most others. I still wasn't thrilled about that but at least people had stopped calling me 'Herald'. Well most people. Technically I was in charge of this whole place, though the how and why of all that was rather convoluted.

_And I didn't know how these people expect me to win them a war when I couldn't even win a bloody card game._

The cards in my own hand were pretty dismal and given my poker face was as good as a flashing neon sign that read "She's lying" I saw no point in playing on this round and promptly folded with a sigh.

"Not even going to try Sunshine?" The Varric teased.

"Nope, I gave you enough of my money last week." I replied a little sulkily and took a small sip of my drink, a peach whine imported from Antiva that Carbot had accidently ordered last month. It was ridiculously sweet which was why I loved it. I was on my third and likely last chalice, my tolerance for strong alcohol was legendarily bad and this stuff packed a deceptive punch.

The dwarf chuckled then threw two cards down and raised the bet by two silvers. Dorian groaned, Sera swore and Blackwall frowned in thought before nodding solemnly and adding his coins to the take.

I shook my head fondly at my friends and took a moment to stretch my arms and back. We'd been playing for little over an hour now and the sun had fully set behind the high walls of the strong hold. Looking out one of the nearby windows I could see the warm glow of patrol torches manning the battlements in the inky night. The window sill was caked with freshly fallen snow that clung to the glass panels and more flakes could be seen softly drifting from above. Skyholds ancient magics kept us safe from the worst of the Frostbacks biter weather but it was old magic and not always stable. Bad storms and snow still tended to seep through, especially at this time of year.

Not that I minded. I enjoyed the snow. I'd never really seen it before arriving in Thedas, having grown up in a part of Australia that didn't get much of the icy substance. So being constantly surrounded by it was still kind of a novelty to me even after all this time. It was so pretty. Fresh and glittering. Like a Christmas card. I'd always wanted a white Christmas like in the movies but December in Australia fell in the middle of summer so instead of celebrating the festive season with roaring fires, snowmen and bad sweaters we Aussies usually spent the day poolside in flip flops with the AirCon on full blast.

Ironically enough the Thedas equivalent to the Earth holiday, Satinalia, was only a few weeks away. Half of Skyhold was already abuzz with excitement for the festivities, enough so that the requestions officers had been forced to bring on several extra staff to keep up with gift orders. Josephine had already planned out every detail of the feast right down to the Satinalia themed after dinner mints.

Personally I was finding it hard to be enthusiastic about the holiday. While Satinalia had no Santa Claus, Reindeer with glowing red noses, decorated fir trees or cheesy Christmas specials it was still too similar to my favourite Earth celebration. Making it too hard to think about without also thinking of what I was missing out on back in my own world. Or more importantly who I was missing.

After all the holidays are always a time for family, at least that's how it had always been for me.

I fought down the sudden pang of pain and regret in my chest. It didn't do me any good to dwell on that particular heart ache. Yes, this would be my first Christmas without my beloved family, my parents and brothers and all my other extended relatives. And yes I probably wouldn't even be able to celebrate this upcoming holiday anyway. I had more important things to be worrying over such as The Darkspawn Magister trying to take over the world and the entire army of people under my responsibility. I didn't have the time to be mopey and sentimental.

_Still..._

Looking at the picturesque snow on the window sill I couldn't help the bittersweet burn of nostalgia and longing that settled into my chest. And soon my mind was dancing with visions of tinsel decorated corridors, miss matched baubles on wilting pine trees, crackers with bad jokes and cheap prizes and an overcrowded table covered in plates overflowing with roast turkey, gravy, potatoes and stuffing.

_Oh man did I crave Grandmas Christmas stuffing!_

So lost in my own thoughts as I stared out the window at the falling snow I almost missed the conversation going on at the next table.

"....Generous of you," Someone was saying in a suspicious tone. "Getting up for all these rounds."

"Well I'm a generous guy," I recognised Krems raspy voice answering as he plonked down a tray of drinks for his fellow Chargers.

Dalish snorted. "Don't you mean 'lecherous'. I saw you making eyes at the Bard. You're only getting up so you can get a better view."

There was a round of jeers and laughter from the rest of the Chargers.

"Oh Shut it!" the Tevinter mercenary snapped at his comrades. "I just... admire her singing. That's all."

"Which you can _hear_ perfectly from here," pointed out Stiches.

More laughter from the table and the sound of Krem groaning as he threw himself into his chair on Bulls other side.

"Alright," he said in defeat. "I think she's pretty. Happy now?"

"Atta boy Krem Puff!" Bull cheered boisterously, thumping his second in charge across the back. "Nothing wrong with studying your target, stalking your prey."

Krem groaned and sunk deeper into his chair.

"So how you going to play this?" Bull continued leaning closer conspiringly.

"I'm not," he answered Krem flatly. "I can't even bring myself to request a song from her. Every time I go up to Maryden someone else seems to steal her attention or she runs off to do something."

"Sounds like you need a net," Rocky suggested. "Trap her so she can't escape."

"She's not a Nug Rocky." Krem groaned.

"You could try catching her under the mistletoe. That way she can't escape you."

With my thoughts still all tangled up in Christmas it was only when The Chargers all fell silent and turned to look at me quizzically did I release I'd spoken aloud. Not only revelling I'd been inadvertently ease dropping on their conversation but also offering romance advice I should _not_ be giving. My love life was a disaster zone.

"O-or not. Never mind me, none of my business. I don't know what I'm talking about anyway... go back to drinking." I stammered feeling my cheeks heat in embarrassment.

I went to take a distracting sip of my drink only to find it empty.

_Huh. When had that happened?_

"Mistletoe?" Krem repeated puzzled, leaning around Bulls bulk to see me better.

"Yeah, Mistletoe." I awkwardly replied taking in his confused frown as I reluctantly put down my empty cup. "You don't know that Chri-er Satinalia tradition."

There were several negative responses among The Chargers and I noticed the Wicked Grace game on my own table had also come to a halt as my friends began to listen on curiously. Likely in order to bear witness to my latest display of self humiliation.

_Seriously why couldn't I just be normal? Why did I have to bumble through most social interactions like a druffalo in an Orlessian antiques store?_

"Must be a Free Marcher thing," I offered sheepishly hoping to God or the Maker that Varric didn't pull me up on that lie.

The dwarf knew about my strange origins but he was one of few. It had been agreed very early on in my time here that the truth of where I had come from was too dangerous to be common knowledge. The Inquisition had been under enough scrutiny and hardship at the time and had not needed the added strain of their fabled Herald being perceived as either mad or possessed. As time had gone by and my fake origins story had held firm it had become harder for me to reveal the truth to friends that had trusted me. Now it was a secret I desperately kept close to my person for fear of their reactions, the knowledge I was lying to them eating away at me bit by bit.

To my relief Varric just shrugged indifferently and took a long pull of his drink.

"So what does this tradition involve exactly?" Krem asked almost hopefully.

It struck me then that maybe Krem thought of Maryden as more than just a pretty face. Maybe the Tevinter merc really liked the bard. Like really liked her. My heart melted a little.

_Daawwww, Cute! Krem had a crush._

"Well, people hang small clusters of mistletoe above doors or from the ceiling and if you see someone standing under the mistletoe you can try and....er." I coughed uncomfortably as I began to realise exactly what it was I explaining. "Umm ... kiss them."

There were a few twitters and wolfs whistles from around the two tables.

"Oooo how very naughty." Dorian murmured in delight, nudging me with his elbow.

I rolled my eyes and shoved him lightly.

"Not like that! It's usually just a light peck or a kiss on the cheek. Innocent stuff not... well ok yes sometimes it can be a bit more... enthusiastic ." I kept rambling on, ignoring the increasing whoops and jeers from friends who had probably had a little too much to drink. "But that's usually only if you know the person first. Mostly it's just a bit of silly fun. A cute ice breaker, though it probably won't work if she doesn't know about the tradition. Then you'd just be some random dude laying one on her for no reason and that's just creepy. Not that your creepy Krem, but you could be if you just go around kissing people for no reason. Funny how having a twig over your head makes that suddenly ok though..."

I trailed off thoughtfully.

_Traditions were weird._

Krems face seemed to fall slightly in disappointment.

"Yeah, I suppose." He agreed sadly.

"You could just try talking to her," I suggested helpfully.

His face turned pale under his Tevinter tan and his eyes went wide with horror.

_Yeah, that would have probably been my response too. Stupid suggestion really._

I felt a soft nudge from my left and looked up to Bulls waggling brows and sleazy smile.

"So how many boys have you ambushed under the mistletoe Boss?" he asked.

I was pretty sure my scalp was glowing red as I tried to scowl reproachfully up at the Qunari, my arms folding defensively over my chest.

"That's none of your business," I replied haughtily.

His grin widened.

"That either means a lot or none at all," the Qunari summarized knowingly.

_Sadly it was the latter. Not that I was going to admit that._

"I'll have you know that I...I..." I stammered indignantly trying to come up with a response that didn't make me look like a hussy or an inexperienced five year old. "I'm.... not going to dignify that with an answer."

"So none," Bull said.

"None," agreed Sera.

"Nada," agreed Varric.

Dorian shook his head sadly at me.

"My poor smooch-less Evie," he said pityingly, putting a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "Don't be ashamed dear, I'm sure you'll snag a very nice young man under a twig.... eventually."

"I'm not smooch-less!" I squeaked, shrugging out of his hand and puffing my chest up huffily. "I've had plenty of smooches."

_Lair._ I'd kissed like four people in my entire life in a romantic manor. And one of those had been in kindergarten with little Tommy Whistler who promised to marry my five year old self if I shared my Tiny Teddies with him. It didn't last, the next day I found him making the same promise to Daisy Thomkins for her snack pack.

"And they've been pretty damn good smooches too!"

_Double Liar._ Until fairly recently most kisses I'd experienced had fallen pretty flat. Then again the recent ones had been rather spectacular.

"For all you know I'm the queen of smooches. I could smooch your moustache right off!"

_Okay, I wasn't sure why I'd said that one._

Dorian blinked at me, said twirled and immaculate moustache twitching in amusement as his grey coal lined eyes fell suspiciously to my empty cup.

"Is that so?" He replied pleasantly. "And how much of that sickening swill have you had to drink tonight 'Queen of smooches'?"

There were several sniggers from around the table as I followed his gaze and glared at the chalice.

_Too much apparently...And yet._

_"_ Do you think Cabot has anymore?"

"Yes!" Sera crowed preparing to leap from the table all too eager to refill my refreshment only to be stopped by a lightning fast perfectly manicured and glittering hand on her knee.

"No," Dorian said with a firm shake of his head. "As much as I endorse a good time and plenty of wine I don't think this is the time or place for out illustrious leader to indulge."

Sera and I both pouted. Varric laughed.

"Still afraid of Cassandra Sparkler?" he asked the Mage with a smirk.

"Last time I let Evie get drunk that brute of a woman threatened to burn my closet and shave me bald. Me, bald! Of course I'm afraid."

"Hey!" I interjected. " _I_ let me get drunk. Not you."

"Of course you did sweetie," Dorian placated patting my hand condescendingly before turning back to the others and gesturing to his face. "I'm not risking this perfection; it would be a national travesty."

I had to admit the Mage was right; it would be a tragedy to lose that stache.

Seeing as there would be no more drink for me and feeling I'd made enough of a spectacle of myself for one sitting I decided to call it a night after that. Bidding my friends a quick goodnight I squeezed my way out between Bull and the table and made my way through the Inn with as much dignity and poise as I could muster, which even in my most sober state was not a great deal. After tripping around two tables and my own feet a few times I made it out into fresh crisp night air of Skyholds grounds, breathing down deep mouthfuls of chilly sobering air and taking in the quite night.

The snow really was so very pretty. But also very cold.

Rubbing my arms for warmth I walked back towards the Keep, choosing to avoid the main steps as I was feeling nice and fuzzy and floaty and there was a slim chance if I wasn't careful I would float right off the edge. It may have looked dramatic having banister less steps to Skyholds front door but it was not really practical or probably up to modern OH&S standards. But then Thedas could hardly be accused of being modern, at least not by my standards.

_Pffft they didn't even have coffee. What kind of civilization didn't have coffee? Plebeians! No, barbarians!_

Instead I went the long way, up a narrow stair way off the battlements that clung to the side of one of the towers. It took more time but less people would witness the Inquisitor staggering up to her room like drunkard. The steps led to a small entry way and a few different passages that lead deeper into the castle. I choose the middle one, slipping down the narrow corridor and humming softly to myself, content within the strong ancient stone walls that had adopted my people at our lowest moment.

After passing a few more doors the corridor opened up into a large circular room. It was sparsely furnished apart from a single love seat pushed against the far wall, a cluster of scaffolding and a large desk and comfy chair strangely positioned in the very centre of the room and overflowing with heavy books and old scrolls. Yet despite the rather barren room this was one of my most favourite parts of the castle and not just because it lead to the Inquisitions library on the floors above or even because of the beautifully designed mural being mapped out on its walls, though I loved both those things.

No this was one of favourite spaces because it was where I could find Solas. It was his space, his piece of Skyhold made his own and his very presence seemed to bleed from the walls like a calming breeze.

I walked in, almost expecting to find the tall apostate leaning over his desk with his brow deeply furrowed in concentration or see him up on the scaffolding, easel at hand and expression relaxed as he carefully added to his master piece in his spare time. Of course he wasn't there. Solas was the only person I knew who slept as much as I did though for completely different reasons. He was likely already in bed, dreaming his way through the Fade and chatting it up with Spirits.

I wondered for a moment if he would have any new experiences to share tomorrow. Solas's tales of the Fade always held me captive, his smooth flowing voice weaving stories so beautiful or fantastical and haunting. I enjoyed far too many hours just sitting on that love seat watching him work, listening to his stories... admiring his rather taught ass in those snug pants.

_What? It was a very nice ass and I was only human._

Solas and I were.... well we were something. If there was a Thedas equivalent to Facebook our status would probably be 'it's complicated'. Which was a great annoyance to me because I'd always thought that status to be stupid, thinking either you were with someone or you weren't. There shouldn't be an in-between. But I'd come to discover relationships weren't always so straight forward.

We liked each other, in fact I was pretty sure I maybe more than liked the elven apostate. Things had happened between us in the past, some very sweet some very heated. Yet every time I thought we were moving forward into something more solid he would pull back and distance himself. He was holding himself back and I couldn't figure out why.

Then again it wasn't like he was the only one. As much as I wanted more from him I'd never pushed or even tried to clarify where we stood on the whole relationship thing. I was hesitant to start anything for fear of heartbreak, my future in this world was uncertain and I had a life back on Earth that I couldn't just pretend didn't exist. So calling us _complicated_ was beyond an understatement.

Yet the heart wanted what the heart wanted. And at that moment my heart was conjuring up images of catching Solas under the mistletoe... shirtless and smirking that smug grin of his as he gestured me over.

Alright it was questionable whether it was my heart or my hormones but the result was the same either way.

_Maybe I could hang some from the scaffolding and ambush him while he worked on his mural...._

There was a polite cough from above and I looked up to see Lelianas pale face looking down at me from the very top of the tower, one strawberry blond brow raised questioningly. I realised with a start I'd been standing by Solas's chair, stroking the smooth wooden frame while I gazed dreamily at the wall lost in fantasy land. Straightening up I coughed awkwardly and quickly ran a hand over my chin.

I may or may not have been drooling.

_No, bad Evie! Stop being a lecherous thirsty pervert._

With a short wave to my Spy Master I quickly turned on my heel and retreated from the rotunda before I did something else stupid like carve our initials on the underside of his desk like a crazy stalker.

Thankfully the entrance hall was empty apart from a few guards standing dutifully on watch. They bowed their heads respectfully at my appearance and I gave them a friendly smile and playful salute back.

"Keep up the good work mens!" I said like the good, completely sober, leader I was. "You're doing a stand up job. Pfft get it? Coz you're standing... right."

They both just blinked at me.

"Oh come on! That was funny," I insisted.

_Shut up Evie!_ I mentally scolded myself. _You're making an idiot of yourself in front of your soldiers._

But I didn't. I couldn't stop; my filter for stupid was broken.

_Bloody peach wine!_

"If you say so Inquisitor," The closest Guard replied.

"You're no fun, too serious." I said with a pout. "Did Cullen teach you to be so serious? Or was that a requirement for joining."

The second guard began to snigger but was silenced by a stern look from the first guard.

"We are here to protect you My Lady and it is a task we take very seriously," he said.

"And that's much appreciated mate," I replied patting his cheek I as walked passed him to the door that led up to my quarters. "But you can still smile a little. The bad guys won't get me just because you crack a smile."

He stiffened and frowned down at me, I wasn't usually known for being so touchy.

"Are you feeling alright Inquisitor?" He asked. "Maybe we should inform Cullen of your... state."

"No!" I shouted then slapped my hand over my mouth." I mean no thank you gentlemen. Cullen will tell Cassandra then Dorian will lose his clothes and I don't think the nobles will appreciate a naked Vint necromancer walking about."

They both stared at me in confusion, eyes wide.

I sighed.

"Nevermind. It's ok, I'm going to bed now so you don't need to worry. Night night."

With that I pushed my way into the stairway, fiddling with the latch for far too long before finally managing to lock the heavy wooden door behind me.

_Smooth Inquisitor, real smooth._

I trudged up the steps, shaking my head at my own stupidity as I did. Knowing I was likely going to be hearing about my behaviour in the morning from an irate Cassandra. I reluctantly changed into my sleep wear and threw myself into bed, almost instantly falling asleep with dreams of being fed my Grandmas Christmas stuffing by a certain half naked elf wearing a crown of mistletoe dancing through my head. Strange yet oddly pleasant.

 

If I had known the chaos about to break out in Skyhold because of my thoughtless words that night then maybe my sleep wouldn't have been so peaceful.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> While I have my own things planned I'm taking suggestion on who's going to be kissing who so let me know who you guys want to see smooching. Serious and hilarious suggestions all welcome ;)  
> Also fair warning this is supposed to be a short story but will likely not be properly finished by Christmas. Its a busy time of year already but I couldn't help myself and had to get this story out there and started.  
> Let me know what you think, and maybe check out my main story if you like Evie.


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